1 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:22,923 - How did you find me? 2 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,291 - You gave us directions 3 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,760 - We could smell your rotten carcass for miles. 4 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,631 Rooting out evil is what we do. 5 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,834 - I hope you don't think I'll give up easily. 6 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:36,036 - Oh, I'm counting on you putting up a fight. 7 00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:39,806 Hammer Jack? 8 00:00:42,342 --> 00:00:43,677 And Tiger Bolt? 9 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:47,147 - Are you ready for a mouthful of justice? 10 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:50,050 - A combined 14 inches of justice. 11 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,855 - Good luck, you'll never pin me down for I am 12 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,793 Professor Trench Bottom. 13 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,564 From the impenetrable deep. 14 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,971 - This confession is my hardest. 15 00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,673 No pun intended for once. 16 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:34,094 This has to be the all time dumbest idea. 17 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,696 Super stupid. 18 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,197 - What are you talking about? 19 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,733 This is making money while waiting to make more money. 20 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,269 You just like the attention. 21 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,737 I want to earn a living. 22 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,872 I need to move out of my place sooner or later. 23 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,040 Probably sooner. 24 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,875 I can't waste my time making 50 bucks 25 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:51,611 plus tips playing dress up. 26 00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,547 - It's called cosplay. 27 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:57,384 I seriously advise you to get an internet connection. 28 00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,252 - You are so very funny. 29 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,922 - Trust me, babe. I always get picked up here. 30 00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,692 When these comic book geeks see real live superheroes, 31 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,227 they can't hold back. 32 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:09,796 They have been jacking off to cartoons their entire lives 33 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:13,567 and finally the cartoons can jack back. 34 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:20,040 I'm Hammer Jack. - You are sexy. 35 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,241 - It was an indoor version 36 00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,977 of Hollywood and Highland or Times Square. 37 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,279 Desperate panhandlers and secondhand costumes 38 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:29,483 begging for attention and spare change. 39 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,085 Listen, I appreciate you showing me the ropes and all, 40 00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,620 but I would probably have to strike out 41 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,921 on my own eventually. 42 00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,491 - If you do, that's exactly what'll happen. 43 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,425 You'll strike out. 44 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,761 Why so little faith in me? 45 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,129 I have you branded better 46 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,730 than your confession blogs and your Rent Me ad 47 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,265 is getting mega traffic. 48 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,234 - Yeah, and I spent half the day fielding requests 49 00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,803 for dick pics and the other half not getting jobs. 50 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,271 - Okay, you're making more money with me 51 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,774 than you would've without me, even after my cut. 52 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:58,278 Be patient, young-ish Skywalker. 53 00:02:58,278 --> 00:02:59,279 All will be revealed. 54 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082 - At least I look good in spandex. 55 00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:04,117 The diet this kid has me on is working. 56 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,298 That picture punches me in the gut 57 00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:20,300 every time I walk into this house. 58 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,471 It probably does the same to Andrew. 59 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:27,307 Neither of us have had the guts to take it the fuck down. 60 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,477 So much hope and love. 61 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:33,680 Youth, even though we thought we were old back then. 62 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,218 But not seeing it would sting more than seeing it. 63 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,957 Living with your ex is ridiculous. 64 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,659 Sure, I have excuses. 65 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,228 The housing market, we're trapped. 66 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,830 Besides, we're grown men. 67 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:55,902 It's all bullshit. I'm stuck here because I wanna be. 68 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,205 X, is that you? 69 00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,073 - Yeah, I didn't know you were here. 70 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,210 - I'm all powerful. 71 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,979 There's no way to stop me 72 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:10,150 from destroying the whole city now. 73 00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,555 All he needs is a cat to stroke. 74 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,190 - He's right, Tiger Bolt. 75 00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:21,328 Maybe we can't stop him, but we can top him. 76 00:04:21,328 --> 00:04:22,262 - What? 77 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,264 - Yes, two simple injections. 78 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,267 One from myself and one from my true hearted friend. 79 00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:30,570 - Brilliant idea, Hammer Jack. 80 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,872 - This energy charge 81 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,508 should make you submit Dr. Trench Bottom. 82 00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,876 Whoosh. 83 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,511 - Oh! 84 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:42,516 Can't resist the power. 85 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,452 - Quick, Tiger Bolt, the serum. 86 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,753 - Jam it in his weak spot. 87 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,689 - Must remain strong. 88 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,560 - Quick, Tiger Bolt. Time is running out. 89 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,531 - No. 90 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,734 No, you're not Rubber Man, you're... 91 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,636 I don't want the condoms, guys. 92 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,706 - You're frozen for one second, Trench Bottom. 93 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,080 He likes it raw. 94 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,582 - That's none of my business. 95 00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:18,251 - But he's so adorably old. How can you say no? 96 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:21,388 - Easy, no. Superheroes put safety first. 97 00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,923 - Calm down. You're on PrEP, right? 98 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,292 - Yes, I'm on PrEP, but I'm also on the original PrEP. 99 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,127 I have safe sex. 100 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:29,462 - Yay, the 80s. 101 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,432 You're topping him. Can't you just go with the flow? 102 00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:33,767 - There was no doubting it. 103 00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:37,337 This kid was a genius in some ways, an evil genius. 104 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,273 But in that moment it was painfully obvious 105 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,908 he was also a kid. 106 00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:44,110 Look, all I can say is with great power 107 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,613 comes great responsibility. 108 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,349 - Fine, we'll work around it. 109 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,619 Just don't let him see you put the fucking thing on. 110 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,288 - Your ice grip wore off. 111 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,992 You'll have to catch me if you're gonna stop. 112 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:06,499 - This job just went 60/40. 113 00:06:06,499 --> 00:06:09,135 Not so fast, Trench Bottom. 114 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,643 - My high school guidance counselor would be so proud. 115 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,152 Don't you ever wonder what you're gonna do 116 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,053 with the rest of your life 117 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,856 when you realize you're over doing stuff like this? 118 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,525 - Nope because probably, like you, 119 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,960 I will be doing it anyway. 120 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,662 - My own personal Yoda. 121 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:36,963 I'm so over this. 122 00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:39,666 I could make more money selling actual wieners. 123 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,068 - God, you are such a nag. 124 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,737 These pictures are free ads. 125 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,172 Just make sure these guys are tagging you on Instagram. 126 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:48,008 All of their friends are gonna wanna fuck you 127 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,076 and their friends are gonna share it with their friends 128 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,245 and their friends' friends will wanna fuck you, too. 129 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,813 And once these friends 130 00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,348 and their friends' friends start looking up your accounts 131 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:59,219 and realizing that they can fuck you, you'll be cashing in. 132 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,820 It's simple math. 133 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,023 - Sounds like a fucking pyramid scam. 134 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:06,026 - Exactly. A fucking pyramid. 135 00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,868 - I'm confused about when you need the place. 136 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,369 Hard to keep track. 137 00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,737 - It's not that complicated. 138 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,108 You look thin. Are you sick? 139 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,410 - Thank you. 140 00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,245 It's part of the whole diet-exercise I'm doing. 141 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,881 I wanna look so gaunt, people worry I'm dying. 142 00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,716 - I thought the goal was to have muscles. 143 00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,217 - That, too. 144 00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:33,286 I want to be transparently thin while having big biceps. 145 00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,388 Who says you can't have it all? 146 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,123 - You hungry? 147 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,293 - Are we good? 148 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,729 You told your friend no rubbers. 149 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:44,597 - Obviously the serum won't work 150 00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,399 if we can't inject it into you. 151 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,902 - Inject me. 152 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,403 Shoot me raw. 153 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:55,575 Call me old-fashioned, 154 00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,777 but HIV isn't the only thing out there. 155 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,781 And resisting incurable gonorrhea is not my superpower. 156 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:04,617 - Oh god, that feels so good. 157 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:10,623 So natural. 158 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,900 - I remember when gay people were way too cool 159 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,669 to be proud nerds. 160 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,838 Maybe we were just overcompensating 161 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,574 for being tormented 24/7. 162 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,809 Now we're free to put on tights 163 00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:33,613 and revel in superhero fandoms with reckless abandon. 164 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,914 Maybe I'm jealous. 165 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,950 Maybe I just wish I could love something 166 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,953 as passionately as whatever this guy's into 167 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,126 - While you were in the John, I got us something. 168 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,027 An old guy waiting for John Barrowman 169 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,295 wants to have a three-way. 170 00:08:49,295 --> 00:08:50,663 $600 each. 171 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,632 - There was a time I wouldn't get into bed 172 00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:56,336 for under $1000, but these days $600 is generous. 173 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,839 I mean, fitness models only make $350 on Rent Me. 174 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,274 - He probably just wants to play dress up 175 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,309 and slide up and down our bat poles. 176 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,622 - I have news. 177 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,390 - I am not ready to hear about a boyfriend. 178 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,858 Don't be a boyfriend. 179 00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,326 You have a boyfriend? 180 00:09:20,326 --> 00:09:22,829 No. God no, I wish. 181 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:24,564 No. 182 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,334 I lost my job. 183 00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:31,171 - Shit, I'm sorry. - No, it's okay. 184 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:31,971 I'm all right. 185 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,240 It's was two weeks ago. 186 00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:41,915 - Thank you boys. 187 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,550 It was worth every penny. 188 00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,687 - I need to use the bathroom to wash off my dick. 189 00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,088 - Down the halt to the left. 190 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:55,695 You'll be fine. 191 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:57,931 I'm undetectable. 192 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:00,700 Don't look so mortified. 193 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,504 I'm undetectable, he's on PrEP, you wore a condom. 194 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,772 I could tell. 195 00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,707 - Your ass is that sensitive? 196 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,576 - I could see it in your face. 197 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,679 Plus, I just saw you slip a used condom in your pocket. 198 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,548 Can I have it? 199 00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:19,519 - Sure. 200 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:22,455 It's all yours. 201 00:10:28,695 --> 00:10:30,463 - No one's gonna catch anything. 202 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:35,101 Don't you stay up on this stuff? You of all people should. 203 00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,237 - I do read all the latest literature. 204 00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:38,071 It's just... 205 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:43,109 I don't park my Peter without its costume on. 206 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,445 I stopped taking risks when I was with someone 207 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,980 and I've kept it up since. 208 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,249 It's my policy. 209 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,718 - I'm not trying to be a bad influence. 210 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,288 Kids like Chayce don't really get it, 211 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,557 but you and I both lived through the 90s 212 00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:59,292 when people were still dying. 213 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,928 I thought I was gonna die. 214 00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,432 I moved in with my mother 25 years ago 215 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:11,104 so she could be there when I passed on. 216 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:15,241 I rarely left the house. 217 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,911 Just read my comics. 218 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,780 And I was a saint. 219 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:25,451 No sex for 24 years. 220 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:31,124 Turns out I was there when she passed last year 221 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:39,632 and I realized my mother, the house, the HIV, 222 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,202 none of that controlled me. 223 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,205 It was me. 224 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,475 I wasn't letting myself have sex 225 00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:51,978 because I felt like I didn't deserve it. 226 00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,983 - Well, you're doing an excellent job 227 00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,152 in making up for lost time. 228 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,889 - Are you slut shaming me? - No, no, I'm impressed. 229 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,292 - It doesn't take superhuman powers of perception 230 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:08,995 to see that you're in the same boat. 231 00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:11,698 You're denying yourself something 232 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:14,033 because you think you don't deserve it. 233 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,676 - Well tune in next week. 234 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,549 - This is all very touching and sweet, 235 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,652 but Harris, do you have our, you know, cash? 236 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,420 We saved the day and we need our loot. 237 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,922 - Can you do PayPal? 238 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,256 - Of course. 239 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:38,091 - We can? 240 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:38,925 - Oh my God. 241 00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:48,034 - So, what have you been doing with your days? 242 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,503 - You're looking at it. 243 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,605 Sitting, eating. 244 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,742 Wondering what the hell I'm gonna do. 245 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,177 - I could make some calls. 246 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,881 - I don't need your help. - I'm just trying to be nice. 247 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:04,717 - I'm sorry. I mean I don't need help finding a job. 248 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,219 I got an inbox full of these. 249 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:09,288 I just, I don't think I want one. 250 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,191 - Nobody wants a job. 251 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:13,693 - I feel like I've been living this life. 252 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,562 It isn't mine yet. Waiting for my real life to kick in. 253 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:19,599 But this is it. 254 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,768 This is my life. 255 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,737 And it's passing by and I still have 256 00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,539 so much shit to figure out. 257 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,412 - Yeah. I know what you mean. 258 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:34,881 - Do you? 259 00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:38,751 - We've been in this limbo for way too long 260 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,819 and it's my fault. 261 00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,457 - We can't keep going like this. 262 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:47,427 Living together, broken up. 263 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:51,264 I feel like I'm walking down a long hallway, 264 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,265 looking for a door. 265 00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:55,835 - You're right. 266 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:57,804 We can't. 267 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:04,177 It's just, I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. 268 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,347 I realized I was doing something or not doing something, 269 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:11,984 mainly because I was thinking about how it could affect you, 270 00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:13,753 even if it only affected me. 271 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,089 Does that make any sense? 272 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:18,491 - Yes. 273 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,027 That's what couples do. 274 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,330 - No, it, it's more than that. 275 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,434 You're in my head, Andrew. 276 00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:33,973 A piece of you is in every single thought I have. 277 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:36,976 I can't look at the world 278 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,145 without seeing it through your eyes. 279 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:43,649 Breaking up with you was a mistake. 280 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:48,187 It's like I'm trying to tear off a piece of myself. 281 00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,789 It's ridiculous. 282 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,392 Let's figure this out together. 283 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,567 - Is that spandex? 284 00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:16,182 If you said this a month ago, even a week ago, 285 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,984 we'd go straight to make up sex. 286 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,424 But X, I am this close to getting over you. 287 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,561 I can see the door at the end of the hallway 288 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,164 and I need to open it. 289 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,200 I need to figure myself out 290 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,601 or else we're just gonna wind up 291 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,236 right back in the same situation. 292 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:47,046 And I need to do this not living with you. 293 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:54,720 - You're right. 294 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,132 That's it. 295 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,401 That's my confession. 296 00:16:11,704 --> 00:16:14,574 Tell me, are there enough Hail Mary's in the world 297 00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:15,575 to make up for this?